doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
