Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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