dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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