so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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