hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
