i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
