He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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