i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
