Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
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Naked Twister starts at high noon
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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