Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
