So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Drunk is not a location!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
