we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
