it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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