people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
