We're facebook friends in real life
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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