you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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