this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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