i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑