pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
