If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house