Texts From Last Night

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  (830): View more from Texas

  I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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  (830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt
  Replies (33) Good night (907) Bad night (450)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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  (937): How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink? http://tfl.nu/zmgw
  Replies (61) Good night (3693) Bad night (1051)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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  (734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj
  Replies (33) Good night (665) Bad night (4207)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (979) Bad night (6200)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4619) Bad night (843)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.

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  (803): it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye. http://tfl.nu/rr5f
  Replies (53) Good night (2614) Bad night (4389)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

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  (206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h
  Replies (47) Good night (15241) Bad night (806)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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  (631): I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful? http://tfl.nu/fnv5
  Replies (21) Good night (734) Bad night (5709)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (2665)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We stopped her at 12

  (708): View more from Illinois

  12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Which answer would freak you out less

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  (630): We stopped her at 12 (708): 12 shots? Or 12 midnight? (630): Which answer would freak you out less http://tfl.nu/edb4
  Replies (5) Good night (5641) Bad night (854)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

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  (309): They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend http://tfl.nu/32kc
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (622)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  (501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9
  Replies (10) Good night (842) Bad night (3014)
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  (925): View more from California

  Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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  (925): Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis. http://tfl.nu/pfu8
  Replies (13) Good night (1278) Bad night (637)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.

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  (254): I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious. http://tfl.nu/40vt
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (140)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on

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  (718): I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on http://tfl.nu/z8s8
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (257)

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