whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS