Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is not my ceiling
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.