Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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  (410): apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual. http://tfl.nu/y4h7
  Replies (18) Good night (1535) Bad night (773)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
  Replies (20) Good night (8070) Bad night (919)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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  (519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. http://tfl.nu/7rdg
  Replies (12) Good night (3592) Bad night (989)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.

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  (813): i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far. http://tfl.nu/5l3l
  Replies (17) Good night (4107) Bad night (1539)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

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  (615): But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume... http://tfl.nu/x6iy
  Replies (5) Good night (4633) Bad night (968)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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  (775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1
  Replies (25) Good night (6798) Bad night (1392)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him

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  (602): just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him http://tfl.nu/vcwf
  Replies (9) Good night (928) Bad night (1395)
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  (212): View more from New York

  how are things with the new girl?

  (917): View more from New York City

  good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked

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  (212): how are things with the new girl? (917): good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked http://tfl.nu/oe1i
  Replies (6) Good night (3259) Bad night (1045)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

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  (850): He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable. http://tfl.nu/zo4w
  Replies (7) Good night (840) Bad night (1097)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (1151) Bad night (621)
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  (650): View more from California

  Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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  (650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (484)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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  (425): I guess I'm open to more types of dick now http://tfl.nu/myaz
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (283)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.

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  (203): Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down. http://tfl.nu/cgfa
  Replies (9) Good night (1770) Bad night (460)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend

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  (908): A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend http://tfl.nu/mrpt
  Replies (0) Good night (730) Bad night (417)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.

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  (828): I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals. http://tfl.nu/0dw4
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (660)

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