Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

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  (650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m
  Replies (7) Good night (2749) Bad night (832)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
  Replies (45) Good night (517) Bad night (6959)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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  (715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3
  Replies (78) Good night (1174) Bad night (4999)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

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  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3651) Bad night (809)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  (304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b
  Replies (25) Good night (4620) Bad night (1616)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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  (780): We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150. http://tfl.nu/ontt
  Replies (20) Good night (1926) Bad night (2651)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.

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  (904): Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover. http://tfl.nu/qk4i
  Replies (3) Good night (1542) Bad night (911)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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  (541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (1443)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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  (501): You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie. http://tfl.nu/eccp
  Replies (4) Good night (2204) Bad night (625)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My bed is full of blood and feathers

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  (931): My bed is full of blood and feathers http://tfl.nu/0j2w
  Replies (10) Good night (541) Bad night (1383)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation

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  (406): I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation http://tfl.nu/qkc0
  Replies (6) Good night (1375) Bad night (807)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

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  (248): What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence? http://tfl.nu/gb31
  Replies (6) Good night (1161) Bad night (859)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1326) Bad night (346)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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  (904): But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore? http://tfl.nu/czg8
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (551)
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  (760): View more from California

  Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?

  (760): View more from California

  The other one.

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  (760): Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée? (760): The other one. http://tfl.nu/3ull
  Replies (4) Good night (244) Bad night (483)

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