Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(951): I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right? http://tfl.nu/4fsw

Replies (22) Good night (2530) Bad night (757)
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(310): View more from California

and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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(310): and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night. http://tfl.nu/rugs

Replies (33) Good night (639) Bad night (3034)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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(816): I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/e1lf

Replies (50) Good night (881) Bad night (6514)
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(650): View more from California

Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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(650): Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap. http://tfl.nu/3ryi

Replies (26) Good night (6842) Bad night (1078)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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(302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs

Replies (3) Good night (2956) Bad night (1012)
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(281): View more from Texas

Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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(281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias

Replies (14) Good night (1519) Bad night (2912)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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(202): he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling http://tfl.nu/aha0

Replies (12) Good night (1609) Bad night (648)
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(845): View more from New York

I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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(845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi

Replies (8) Good night (1751) Bad night (528)
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(415): View more from California

I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes

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(415): I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes http://tfl.nu/o499

Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (795)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog

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(775): I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog http://tfl.nu/px0v

Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (493)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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(775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie

Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (349)
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(716): View more from New York

I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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(716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y

Replies (0) Good night (857) Bad night (322)
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(562): View more from California

I bought something for you today. You'll love it.

(909): View more from California

What is it? Drugs?

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(562): I bought something for you today. You'll love it. (909): What is it? Drugs? http://tfl.nu/q4iy

Replies (4) Good night (1109) Bad night (413)
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(516): View more from New York

Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself

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(516): Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself http://tfl.nu/vgn8

Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (314)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night

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(678): I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night http://tfl.nu/4dps

Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (324)

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