he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
