sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.