apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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