I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
