and you said cock pushups were impossible
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
