I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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