I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
