yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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