Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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