So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
