I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
