I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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