My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
