I wish I only lived at night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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