I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
