Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
