just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
