she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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