we have pet lesbian snakes
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
