Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
