see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
