I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
