listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
