All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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