Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
