Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's rum buckets o'clock
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
