How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
