Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
