someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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