I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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