I wish they made helmets for livers.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I touched a dick in church today
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
