I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
