Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
