Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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