I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize