Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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