Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
