I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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