It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
