I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
youre lurking in front of me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize