Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
