OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
