You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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