Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
