I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
