toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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